Archive for June, 2005

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Sunday, June 12th, 2005

"How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;"

One of the best movies I’ve ever watched. The movie was well crafted, creatively done and will definitely get into you. It has touched a certain part of me.

Do you have memories you wish you could delete? How can that be done? Lately, I’ve been through a lot, frustrations, fear and longing for the peace of mind. Made me want to erase bad memories yet at the same time can’t bear to part with the beautiful ones. How can you erase bad memories and saved good ones only? Sad but this is true, I often have this kind of escapist’s mind. I tend to run away from issues of life, its harsh reality that makes me wander to my own so-called created "world of illussions".

But then again, back to the reality: What purpose do you think those memories serve? What trials and traumas in your life have been important in your development as a person? One has to learn that these things has its purpose. This will actually make you stronger, learn from the mistakes. Anyway, those memories were just a part of us and we need not dwell on it too much. Capitalize on it, make it as a guide on how to deal with life or something like it.

It only boils down on the truth that we cannot delete bad memories in moments of weakness. Those unpleasant echoes of failure, frustrations and happiness will always be there. Maybe, yes you can erase someone or something from your mind but getting it out of your mind is another story.

Beautiful Disaster

Saturday, June 11th, 2005

"I’m longing for love and the logical
but he’s only happy hysterical
I’m searching for some kind of miracle
waited so long
waited so long"

This is what’s currently playing in my MP3 today… I really like Kelly Clarkson’s voice but this is not the only reason… what else would it be, it is the song.  The message has really moved me.  I have listened to the live and studio version & liked the slower one (live version).  It has really made a connection instantly in my mind.  I have related to the song to some extent.

Yeah, I’m waiting for some kind of miracle for so long.  I guess, most of the people that know me would definitely agree.  I drown in my sleep and a little percentage of me believes that I am damned with my life.  And I need someone who will save me from this world that I have creatively constructed with a pinch of happiness and a lotta more of conflict.  Definitely, an exquisite extreme of everything.

The magic and the myth, the tragedy and havoc that’s inside of me…
I have asked God, would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster?

***Disclaimer***
Sorry, I’m just in my dramatic mood… great huh!  Don’t take this seriously or else you’re going to
be blind…