Outside Looking In

Well, this thought was just passed on to me by a former roommate.  Back then, he would usually see these things very often and that makes it weird.  He’d jokingly explain the possible reason for it and I totally disregarded the deranged hypothesis.  Since then, I have experienced or should I say, I became unconsciously conscious to this major observation.

For the past few years, I have consistently noticed that I always see these times of the day 00:00, 2:22, 4:44 etc.  (I’m used to the military time or 24-hour).  At first, you might react and say, “So what’s so special with that.   It’s just repetitive and so what. “

What’s peculiar is this, for the past few days, I have been seeing 11:11 more often than the other combinations. (As a matter of fact, I’ve seen it for the last three days straight.)

Eleven is a close number to me.  First, it’s the sum of the month and day of my birth.  Two of my former prospects were born on the 11^th of the month.  I used to like the eleventh letter of the alphabet.

Probably, you might say that I’m just thinking non-sense today.  Trying to come up with another story to write and waste my not-so-boredom Saturday night.  Don’t think that I’m neurotic or something.  But this contemplation has been with me for the longest time. 

Is this another off-your-rocker idea?  Not really!  Am I just trying to over-analyze the things that are happening in my life?  Nope.  Is this just filler for the month? Hell no. 

I’d just like to unravel this mystery, answer one-of-my-thousand useless questions and make use of my brain cells that are starting to die from nothingness that I have become.

Hmmm, or maybe something good will happen to me on November 11^th.   Oops, did I just solve the mystery?  Is this the day that I have been long waiting for?

Now this is starting to get more exciting…

this is the one thing that i really missed… nope not the blog but the Amazing race… (well, okay i have to admit not posting a blog for the past two months is a fish kill… but time won’t really permit me to)

anyway, just a quick update with my life… yap, i’m pretty much happy with my new surroundings (i can’t say work because i just transferred to a subsidiary company and i’m still doing the same work)

my teammates are great… aside from it there’s a new  before the event prospect… hmmm, well want more details about it? just tell me…

travelled to Baguio last August, and had a September tan at Bohol and will be going to Singapore next Friday…

Everything seems great though not really perfect…

Okay going back to the very reason why I’m making this blog…

I’ve been a big fan of Amazing race… I think I started with season 4 and had this really strong predictions everytime… i was able to guess the top three teams from the last 4 seasons…

Now, I’m enlisting the three teams and for you people who’s going to read this let’s play with the season along… try to guess, why I’m predicting these teams…

If you get the reason right, (supposing that I get it right) you’ll have a free dinner from me… fair? easy? let’s see…

the three teams are: (not yet in order)

1. erwin and godwin (i think they are the koreans)

2. lyn and karlyn (the black team)

3. tyler and james (the addicts)

okay, i will post my bet who’s going to win the race this weekend since, I wasn’t able to catch the last two episodes…

all you have to do is, post your reasons or answers here as a comment and will all have to wait for the last three teams…and will see who’s going to get the free dinner… i’m giving out one free dinner only…

hope you enjoy this game…

Prayed for an angel
To come in the night
And shine some sweet light on me
Found only strangers
Then you came to me

Just when i’d given up
You gave me love
My world was tumblin down
You turned it around

he’s some kind of miracle… joy’s brought to my heart… such a sweet memory that lingers at the recesses of my mind… he’s the only one who can give me the love that i need… he has set my soul — free…

well, this is what i feel right now. again i’m at my own world.  this kelly clarkson song really perked me up… all i can remember is him, and this song at the moment. well, i know that my situation with him is not really a miracle as a matter of fact… why? don’t ask! it’s obvious… just read between the lines… grrr !@#$%

PLUS this irritating bad news

1.  good thing -> my pending transfer will push through the latest is July 1st, nice right? still not the reason …

2. bad thing -> after of so many months apart (with the only wish that i can see him everyday, every single minute) he just dropped the not-so-bad-news…he’ll be going back to the place where i won’t be at… the place where i found him… too bad, right?

well, i just want simple yet complicated things… hehehe

all i want is for him to lift me up when my days are not-so okay…

all i want is for him to spend happy days with me…

all i want is for him to find the beautiful disaster with me…

all i want is for him to take the risks, take the chance, and

breakaway with me…

when it happens, then it’s definite… it’s Some Kind of Miracle…

I had a working permit to Bohol last Thursday.  Yap, it’s a new lingo that I am going to popularize.  Working permit means that I had the opportunity to travel to a great place but wasn’t given enough chance to visit and enjoy the place.  But, at least I was able to see and touch the tarsier (which I was totally, terrified at first!).  Anyway, I’d be going back to Bohol next September for a vacation. (And Cebu, too!)

The travel was really tiring.  We departed Manila Thursday morning and after 1 hour of flight (had a cute boy sitting beside me, but I totally ignored because I slept the whole time… haha!)  Before the end of the day, we rode a fast craft to Cebu for our connecting ship to Cagayan for the next day. (I had a perfect trip, nice ship and I was able to watch Coyote Ugly for the first time and liked the movie, Kevin is so cute!)

Basically, the one reason I think why I found the trip tiring was because the super ferry was delayed for two hours.  At first, it was okay but as the time goes on, the place really smelt and it became too humid.  That was the bad thing, aside from that, I was really hungry and there was no available food shop.  Imagine, I felt the need to eat 7pm and was able to at around 11 pm.

But still, I enjoyed the Super Ferry 12 because it was really big and it is the biggest ship that I have boarded.  The place was like a hotel.  Had our own comfort room inside the room and it’s not that boring since we have a television.  I was able to watch American idol, good thing!

We arrived Cagayan de Oro two hours delayed and preceded directly to another 1 and 15 minutes land trip to Iligan City (Lanao del Norte).  It was almost lunch but still, we managed to start a little work.  It’s like doing a community service. Ooops, another word that I will be using from now on.  Community service is a new term for the time that you spend at work past your regular working time.

Well, the whole trip was really about work. At least I still get to travel than not. Aside from that, it’s additional mileage haha! Glad that despite doing double job right now, I’m still enjoying everything.  More pressure, more challenges, more choices.  Hmmm, what else do I need, maybe a killing pill next week haha!?!

it’s funny how some people say things about you but they don’t really know you…

they act as if they know everything but the truth is nobody knows everything…

they say that you should open your eyes but their eyes are the blinded ones…

they say that you are lucky to have friends but the truth is he only envies the fact that you have loyal friends who’ll protect you and he doesn’t have one…

how could you expect a person to act good at you if you don’t…

people get what they deserve…

i’m not a christian that i’m used to be…

i fight for the right that i have…

i get even and worst if possible…

i don’t care what others say…

what’s important is what my good friends tell me…

in this world i don’t expect everyone to believe me… well, i used to…

in this lifetime i don’t expect everyone to like and love me… well, i used to…

if you somehow have been annoyed by me… well, sorry life’s like that… grow up… i may have meant it or not… anyway, you don’t have to like me because most probably i won’t like you…

i’m good when you’re good and i’m bad when you’re bad…

this is for the person who have been believing himself like he’s a master of human behavior or something but the matter of fact is… like me, nobody likes you much… you’re a loser sucker!

i’m numb with this non-sense, when i said that it’s over, i meant it…

i stopped from crying over something that’s not worthy…

fairly happy, isn’t a happy stage, huh? come on, who are you kidding? you homophobic!

i’ve been spending my birthday for the past 8 years with my good friends in college.  the 14K as we call ourselves collectively… 

though, the group is getting li’l each year still, celebrating it with them is the most perfect way to end a beautiful day. (well actually, since they’re the ones left who love me (oops do they?) i think i have no choice but to spend it with them haha! just kidding!)

but this year, i had another plan… two weeks before, i asked myself what do i want for this year?  well, hmmm… then, i told myself that i’d do everything this year to make it more meaningful.  anyway, i’ve been good and i deserve a perfect day since it’s my doomsday…

i’ve gathered enough courage and asked this certain person if he can see me the night before… to have dinner and talk… (the plan is to wait ’til the midnight comes and hopefully to start the day perfectly with a kiss hehe! just kidding!)

in short, he agreed and we set the date march 7th… to add some struggle with my story… exactly three days before the night.  i’ve learned that the management set a business review and the presentation materials should be at my boss’ table before march 8 morning.  that means i have to stay that night to finish all of their requirements…

since, this is the only thing that i want and i usually get what i want… i told my boss that i can’t stay that night because it’s so special to me and i can’t miss it for the world… luckily, she agreed…

=======march 7th=======

1 hour to go and i started feeling excited… again, excitement is not really my friend… it’s weird, i’m feeling too uneasy that day… i had an upset stomach… i had heart palpitations… yeah, i was worried that he might not come… the only thing who can make me happy…

7:15 pm i called him up… and everything was history… we ate dinner, had a talk… it’s the first after three months… i’ve never felt that happy for the past few months… january and february was really mean to me!!! remember?

he’s the sweetest thing, i know that we are just friends…

====45 mintues before march 8th====

we dropped by a mcdonalds store to have a dessert… and we waited for the midnight… i thanked god for giving me that chance… for giving me the greatest gift so far… for pampering me that day… & for granting my ultimate wish…

again, i can’t believe it i’ve started the day in the most perfect way… thank you so much…

horoscopes… believer or not? well, i am… especially when it says good things… well, past few years were really nice and not that tough… but 2006, according to the sun, moon and stars will be a tough one…

i refused to believe so… and then today happened well it’s more of february happened… i really hate the chinese astrologers who wrote that i should watch out for february… so i’ll start counting now…

1st, my transfer is a bullshit in short "on hold", 2nd, my fave gadget is bullshit… in short, sira. 3rd, i miss someone and i don’t know if i should tell him… again, lovelife’s the biggest bullshit!(the last time i saw him was almost 2.5 months ago and texting isn’t enough for me!)

hmmm… don’t get the impression that i’m mad, it’s just that i can’t believe that today is the last day of february and all of these three things happened today…(tama bang humabol sa febulous february month) and next week, i’ll be a year older… worst!

if march won’t get better can somebody just kill me this year! hehehe just kidding for those serious takers!

Finally the long wait was over… I’ve got the chance to see Brokeback Mountain last Wednesday.  (Actually, I watched it Monday on DVD… piracy sucks… the audio was no good… let’s stop piracy then! haha!)

Okay let’s go to the story… yes, for some parts it’s really slow… dragging I may say… but still, with all the sheep moments…I can say 100% that the movie was really good. (Not only because Jake was part of it… haha!)

It was really moving…  The emotional struggle was there.  It’s sad… The tagline explains the whole story… "Love is a force of nature"  No one can control this… it’s an emotion that you feel, you don’t dictate this.  No one can judge you that it’s right or wrong.  Maybe, with the norms that we have you might say that it’s against it, but is it really wrong?  Who says so?

The soundtrack was good, too. I’ve been playing this for the longest time…

"Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rutted old road
In a world that may say that we’re wrong."

This is the last part of the song… it’s country but i still liked it.  This is what I need "A love that will never grow old".  A love that will take a risk and stand for itself…  A love that won’t even care despite the world says that it’s wrong. 

Bottom line, do I really need a place like Brokeback Mountain where I can find solace away from the closed-minded society?

Maybe I do but I think i need to find someone first haha!

I don’t have any recollections related to friday the 13th. Except maybe for one… well, I don’t really believe in it.

Not until last friday… I’m all set… emotionally, professionally.  It was my last day with my current work.  I’ve been hearing about their plans for the night for the much-awaited despedida…  Everything’s ready (and so I thought)…  Then, late in the afternoon, about 4 hours before the close of business. 

My boss just heard about the event and she approached me… "Can I have a word with you?" =====> In short, the horrific background sound just came out…

I felt like Jason just went out, and tried to run after me… I tried to save myself but I found myself trapped…

Yes, it was the biggest disappointment so far… I really looked forward to it.  I’ve waited almost 3 months for it…  Then, suddenly everthing’s put on hold until further notice…  I don’t know how I can make myself forget about this… I don’t know if i can still wait…

I just hope like every Friday the 13th movie… when every episode ends with Jason’s defeat… that my 1st encounter with this bad omen be ended with what I’ve always expected how a horror movie ends…